Love Lies.

Love. Relationships. Break-ups. Make-ups. I have so much to say about this topic and yet... I’m at a loss for words. I’ve never understood the way our generation handles relationships- whether that be platonic or romantic. I decided to break down and analyze the complexities that intrigue me the most...

A Generation Ting

Why is it that we live in a generation where you have to show the other person you’re uninterested in order to spark any interest in them. We want what we can’t have. The more unavailable you are, the more attractive you become- and yes, there’s actually been studies done on this. Whoever cares the least, wins. Playing hard to get is the only way to play the game. And as soon as you claim your prize? On to the next. We’re addicted to the chase. Replying right away? Clingy. Trying too hard? Thirsty.

Everyone wants to act like they’re in a relationship, but no one wants to admit that they’re actually in one. Y'all will do everything an actual couple will do- care for each other, get jealous/possessive of one another, text all day, facetime all night. However, as soon as you decide to put a label on it, it ends. But if you don’t make it a thing- it never has to end. No point in getting attached because as soon as you do, they’ll detach so fast- and y’all are strangers before you know it. This way it's safe and y'all don't have to lose each other. No one gets hurt. No strings attached. But are we being emotionally fulfilled? LOL, we’re too scared to find out otherwise. It’s better to “kind of” have someone than to not have someone at all. Right?

Crossing the Imaginary Line

Cheating has become normalized to the point that people tend to forget they’re even doing it. It’s portrayed in movies and music romantically and glamorously. So why on Earth would we think we’re doing anything wrong? It only counts if you get caught, right? So what exactly determines if you’re cheating? They say that line is pretty thin. I, personally, would say it’s any interaction that makes your partner uncomfortable and definitely something that you wouldn’t dare do in front of them. The reason you choose not do these things is because you RESPECT them. Remember that thing, respect? Not a lot of people do.

Is flirting considered cheating? I watched a video recently that gave me some perspective on this. There are some people in your life that you naturally have flirty banter with. It doesn't necessarily mean you’re trying to get with them, but your interactions with this person will always come off as playful and a little risqué. However, if you’re not saying inappropriate sweet nothings, messaging each other questionable things, or going as far to act upon it- then most people won’t consider it cheating. However, if any of these lines are crossed, then without a doubt, you’re probably not being faithful, and you should get out of your relationship ASAP. Just to be clear, this is all very subjective and depends on your partner’s comfort level.

Right Person, Wrong Time

What happens when you meet someone who was made for you but not meant for you? I hate the term “soul mate,” but do they exist? Is there only one person out there made for you and only you? I used to believe in this concept, but honestly, it seems unfathomable. Because what if you meet someone who seems like a perfect fit for you, but because of circumstances, you can’t be together? And you don’t end up together? Are they still considered your soul mate, or is the person you actually end up with your soul mate. In my opinion, each person that walks into your life serves a purpose. They’re either going to be a blessing or a lesson (or even both). Although we can’t understand that at the time, trust that there is a reason. What you learn from them (whether good or bad) will contribute to the person you’re going to eventually become. It might be painful at the time, but know that you will end up where you’re supposed to end up- with or without them.

Does “FOREVER” Exist?

Happily ever after. That’s how all fairy tales end, so does that mean it’s how we’ll all end up too? We'd all like to believe so, but time has shown us time and time again that life does NOT work like this. Call me a skeptic, but it’s hard for me to believe love lasts. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen it fade so many times around me.

So what is the point to it all? Love is a risk, and I guess to most people that risk is worth it. We crave euphoria. But the only way this shit really works is when both people contribute effort till the very end. So when one person stops making an effort, what are you supposed to do? When you’ve given it your all, when do you decide it's time to get up and walk away?

It’s when you realize that you were put on this Earth for more than just to fall in love with someone and live “happily ever after.” Your purpose extends far beyond that. Once you understand this, you can fall in love with not only yourself, but your life too. Anything else is just a cherry on top.

-love Sof